Nudity & A Hot Mess

There was truly no shortage of bizarre and awkward experiences while I worked in the warehouse. 99% of which seemed to center around truckers. Sometimes I would go weeks without a trucker related incident, but one event would tip the scales and get the ball rolling. Let me tell you, when it rains, it pours. I'd have multiple issues in one night! Although they are a source of comedy now, in the moment, it took all I had to avoid losing my mind on certain individuals.

A HOT MESS

On one incredibly busy evening, a trucker entered the warehouse with a trailer full of ice cream. He indicated that he wanted to avoid paying us and unload the trailer himself. This is pretty standard, so I indicated that would be fine and gave him the appropriate instructions to enter the building, have a receiver lock his trailer in place, and unload his product. Simple. Straightforward. EASY. A few hours passed and no one had seen the driver or the product he was carrying. We didn't have a phone number on record, so I wandered outside in the snow to track him down. I brought along my clerk for protection... more like I would have had to protect the two of us. I knocked on the driver's door and got no response. I quickly knocked again and gave my clerk "a look". Silence when knocking on a driver's door is never good... although most of the time they are sleeping, there is the potential for a dead driver. Creepy. I knocked on the door one last time. I began to quickly run through procedures for contacting the police about a dead driver when the window on the door rolled down and a younger man stuck his head out. "Can I help you?" he said. "Yes you can. You were supposed to unload your product hours ago. What happened?" I replied. He gave me an ugly look and snapped "No one here told me to come in and unload myself! Besides, the dock lock light isn't red yet!" I looked up at him and could tell that his blood was beginning to boil. I don't like to antagonize, but I sure as hell won't back down from a trucker, especially one who thinks he can talk down to me. "I gave you clear instructions. If you were confused, you should have asked for clarification. Since you didn't, and then decided to nap for hours in your cab, you can close up your trailer and remove yourself from the property." His blood was definitely boiling now. In a bold, rage-filled voice he screamed, "Listen here lady! You will unload my product right now! I don't have time for this! I have other stops that are more important than YOURS!" Lady? Really? Classic. I looked up at him, eyes blazing, and said, "You WILL close up your trailer and come inside to get your paperwork. This conversation is over and I'm not compromising. Our shift is over, so reschedule your appointment." To this day, I'm not really sure if I got all of that out because in a flash, his cab door came flying open, grazing my chest and face. My clerk froze in horror as the grown man came leaping out of his truck.Within seconds he was inches from my face screaming obscenities and making derogatory comments about my gender. The next event, to this day, still floors me. As he got closer to me, I closed my eyes and started yelling back. I felt the gap suddenly widen between us, and I quickly opened my eyes. To my amazement there stood half a dozen other truckers between the crazed trucker and myself. Two of them grabbed him and pushed him back to his cab. Two others walked my clerk and I back inside the building behind locked doors. I was shocked. They had been watching the scene unfold and knew that it was a matter of seconds before the driver lost his damn mind. They quickly banded together and marched across the parking lot in time to stop the driver before he did anything stupid. I was absolutely blown away by their heroic act. Clearly there is still A LOT of good in this world.

NUDITY

On a cold December night, I was unloading trailers, including a transfer truck from another one of our facilities. Although they are a pain in the butt, they help to make the evening go by more quickly. A transfer truck backed in the door, and I quickly set myself up to get to work. I slid open the dock door and immediately saw that his trailer was WAY too low in our doorway. Simple fix - slide back the tandems and inflate the air bags. Easy. I headed to the office and called the driver. No answer. Wait 10 minutes and call again. No answer.Wait 5 minutes and call again. No answer. I looked to the manager of a 3rd party business in our building for help. Basically, I wanted him to go wake up the trucker for me. He responded with a laugh and a "Hell no." Useless as always. I put on a jacket and gloves, gave my clerk the traditional "If I'm not back in 10 minutes, come and find me..." statement, and headed outdoors. I went straight to his truck and knocked on the door. No answer. Great... another potentially dead trucker. I stood there watching my breath hang in the freezing night air. I knocked again and heard movement. Perfect! WRONG. To my utter shock, a man whips open the door on the cab to reveal himself completely nude. I froze. I didn't even know what to say. He smiled and said, "What can I help you with? Nice night out isn't it." It's hard to take someone seriously when their undersized penis is staring you in the face. At this point, I'm sure my face was pale and white, and I was somewhere between shock and hysterics. He kept smiling and winking at me until I could muster, "Your trailer is too far down. I need you to inflate your air bags or move your tandems back." The statement pulled me from my shocked mental state. I think my straightforward answer wasn't what he was looking for. He simply said "Oh. Sorry." and closed his cab door. I turned and walked away, but my mind was racing. 30-40 year old male. Transparently white. Small package. Anorexically thin. Really? Not interested. Get a tan or at least hang out in the sun for a bit. Eat some home-cooked meals. And for the love of pete, don't show your junk to the supervisor on duty. Needless to say, a sexual harassment case was created, and I'm pretty sure that the driver is putting his naked body to good use somewhere else nowadays.


"Man's happiness is not, therefore, at the disposal of physical sense. Truth is not contaminated by error. Harmony in man is as beautiful as in music, and discord is unnatural, unreal." -S&H p.304:18-21