Since working in a warehouse, I've always wondered what the standards are for truckers. More specifically, as a trucker, what is considered "off limits" when deciding on a female/male to pursue? Or can you just use the "bag it" theory regardless? Better yet, do standards and stipulations even exist? Don't get me wrong, love and beauty come in all shapes and sizes. We were all created differently for a reason, BUT do one night stands in cabs constitute something outside the realm of beauty and love? I guess it is the eternal question. I've had my fair share of offers and propositions, so I wanted to share the best ones with the world.
RUSSIAN VODKA
For those of you who don't know, lots and lots of truckers are former residents of Russia, Ukraine, Slovakia, etc. and came to the U.S. in search of a job. Although their English is a little rough, they sure know how to hit on females! One evening while I was working, a Russian driver (who surprisingly was very friendly) kept asking us to help him with unloading his truck, finding the bathroom, using the vending machines, etc. The list never ended... he was a very needy driver. Lucky for me, as the only supervisor on duty, I was tasked with the responsibility of monitoring his crazy ass as he wandered aimlessly in search of... something. I was constantly redirecting his attention and herding him to various locations. Once his truck was unloaded, I quickly ushered him to our office to close out his paperwork. The bumbling Russian signed off on everything and immediately began to flirt with me. Really? No bath. No teeth. No clean clothes. Not interested. The flirtation was initially harmless. Older, creepy man with a heavy Russian accent dropping innuendos and comments like he was a late night talk show host. Funny, but not enough to keep my attention. As time progressed and my interest and tolerance waned, Russian became desperate. Enough was enough, I unlocked the office door and told the Russian to remove himself from our building. In a last ditch attempt, the Russian blurts out, "I'll give you 12 beers if you will come share them with me in my truck. You can spend the night with me. I'll be at Wal-Mart in the parking lot." Holy eff. Really? That is an offer I can't stand to pass up! In that moment, I realized that this is what it feels like to be a "lot lizard". I also realized that his offer was probably an offer that any "lot lizard" dreams about. Hell, if I spent my life roaming the U.S., hopping from cab to cab, a bed and 12 beers at Wal-Mart sounds like a vacation! I felt bad, but I couldn't help but start to giggle. As I turned him down and he walked out the door, I got several laughs from my receiving crew. A classic moment that had quickly become all too familiar for them since my start on the shift. In the very early hours of that morning, I packed up my stuff and headed home. As I passed the Wal-Mart parking lot full of semi trucks, I couldn't help but think... I wonder if he's waiting on me...
"What is termed material sense can report only a mortal temporary sense of things, whereas spiritual sense can bear witness only to Truth." -S&H p.298:8-10
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